What image do you project? I don’t know about you, but I get exhausted even when things are going well behind the scenes. After my first depression, I started calling it “acting.” I don’t want to be on the show anymore. My life feels best when I’m authentic. Sometimes that means I’m not positive, smiling, and full of good things. This means I am quiet, resting, and studying. Or cry, be angry, just be sad. Sometimes all I want to do is watch a Disney movie because I need to feel relaxed and remember the joy and wonder that little Jackie once felt. But 98% of the time, I want to be able to feel the depth of my emotions.
The Dangers of Image-Centricity
When you focus on your own image, you lose your sense of self. It tears you apart in a slow, methodical way that you won’t even notice until crisis strikes. Then suddenly, you find yourself searching for the truth. Putting on a show means you doubt yourself when things aren’t perfect because you think you’re doing a good job of controlling it all. It takes time, vulnerability, and sometimes everything falling apart to realize that control is an illusion.
Projecting the best narrative of our lives is nothing new. We often blame social media, but this only gives us more of what is already there. Think about your childhood. Have you ever received a message like…?
- “This is a family matter. It’s no one else’s business.”
- “Don’t embarrass your family.”
- “Blood is thicker than water.”
Can real people please come forward?
When you step out of your home, what image of your family projects to the world? In retrospect, was this image realistic?
I am the youngest of three daughters, all of whom were abandoned by their parents. I am a wife who is madly in love with her husband and after ten years she realizes that he is not perfect… nor should he be. I’m a stepparent, which is a messy and complicated role.
I’m one of a friend in a large group of girls who may feel disconnected from some of the people she’s been close to for almost 20 years, and it’s very painful. And then, in a beautiful, unexpected way, create new intimacy with others in the same group. I am an entrepreneur and have experienced many changes since my company was founded.
Life is messy and complicated. By acknowledging it, owning it, and having the courage to look within yourself, chaos becomes empowering. Giving up perfection and being willing to create powerful change is what leaders do. One of my favorite quotes that I would like to explain is: Monsters live in the dark. When you bring them into the light, they lose their power.
Monsters live in the dark
This quote got me through three dances of depression, more abuse than one person should experience in a thousand lifetimes, and inspired me to create my group counseling program, Silence the monster of self-doubt. Our perfect images are feeding that monster. If you want to turn down the volume and increase your self-love and self-acceptance, please join me on this journey. The questions I want you to think about are: Are you brave enough to admit that your life isn’t perfect? If so, Schedule a call. you are not alone.
